


You saved me.

by Nic_louise_12



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 22:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nic_louise_12/pseuds/Nic_louise_12





	You saved me.

2 weeks before the happiest day of his life and Callum couldn’t be any less excited, he is getting fed up of the whole deal and everyone talking about it. He keeps himself busy all day, doing over time at work, going jogging countless of times a day, he even puts his phone in don’t disturb mode so no one can get hold on him. 

On the other side of the square Ben is laying low but he does seem to noice Callum running past the car lot at least 5 times a day, he can’t stop thinking about him, he eyes light up when he runs past and Ben has figured out when so he is looking out the window.

As the universes works ben walks into the cafe on morning grabbing a coffee, he notices Callum sat in the corner a full breakfast with him but untouched, Callum feels Ben looking and he gets up and walks past him, ben follows him with his eyes, he’s a lot thinner, his muscle tone isn’t any stronger even with the running, so he follows him, callum starts jogging and Ben finishing his coffee starts to slowly jog after him. Callum bits the corner and when Ben turns it he’s leaning against the wall out of breath “what are you doing Ben” he looks up, dark eyes meet bens “geez cal have you even had a sleep lately” his worried, but he remains calm.

Callum looks away “nah not really” he laughs but Ben doesn’t find this funny “no sleep, no food, always running” he looks at Callum “are you trying to kill your self” he asks plain and simple Callum looks I’m shock “god Ben no” he shouts a little to loud “it’s what I do when I’m stressed.. the wedding which I don’t want, the thoughts going on, the person in my heart” Ben looks on thinking maybe it’s the heat of the fact Callum hasn’t had a good nights sleep in a while, or the lack of food but he’s never seen him so... so honest before in this sense but before he can finish Callum mumbles “it’s not fair, at all Ben, this, me this isn’t who I am.. with everything going on and the funeral coming up” Ben swiftly turns his head “funeral” he asks raising both eye brows “well.. more of a memorial.. for my army friend.. Chris..” Callum stutters Ben just looks at him soft “wanna talk about it” he looks up at Callum and he just shakes his head “nah.. I have to get back to work” and with that he leaves Ben standing alone. 

The day of the memorial comes quicker than anything, Callum is stood in a black fitted suit, he goes into the box he has hidden away to get his black flat army cap out, he puts in on and just sighs walking out the flat, the one person he didn’t want to see today.. he bumps in to Ben “sorry” he mumbles as he steps back looking up and meeting bens eyes “it’s fine.. are you okay” Ben asks already seeing the tears form in Callum’s eye “Memorial Day” he whispers and walks off, Ben decides to follow him he knows at some point he will need someone but he keeps his distance, he watches as Callum hugs some people and makes his way into the church.

Standing at the back he watching as people say lovely things about Chris and he can’t take it, the guilt he feels, it should be him and not Chris he spots a few bottles of whiskey probably for afterwards and with one in his hand he walks out, Ben stood leaning against a tree spots him and watches as he attempts to down the full thing, pulling his cap off and slowly walking away from the church, Ben gets in his car and pulls up next to him “get in” he shouts and Callum stops completely stunned by seeing Ben here but he does as he is told, they drive in complete silence till the reach a bar outside of town “you wanna drink yourself silly, I’m joining” Ben mumbles and Callum just turns “no not here, he gets out and goes into the corner shop, with bags of booze he gets back in the car, puts a post code into his phone “go there” without thinking Ben starts driving, the finally reach a little hut and Ben just looks around but follows Callum into it, he sees a carving of Callum’s and Chris’s name in the wood, “it’s where we used to go, to get away” Callum says taking his jacket off “I like it” Ben smiles.

A while later they are both sat on the sofa he spots a picture of both of them hung up he walks over to inspect it, he’s never seen Callum look so content and happy in his own skin, like he does there and suddenly it hits him maybe Ben was Callum’s first man he’s had a sex with but he wasn’t the first one who won Callum’s heart he turns “we both know what it’s like to loose someone we loved” he looks at Callum sees him breaking “it’s my fault he’s dead Ben, he went into the house to save me, but he couldn’t get out” Callum’s voice breaks and Ben is right there “no Callum it’s not, you both were serving the country.. it’s not your fault at all” Ben speaks quickly trying to hold back the tears “it’s not your fault either, with Paul it wasn’t you Ben” a whisper comes from Callum’s lips and Ben just breathes in “it’s either of our fault then” he sighs as Callum leans into him.

After a while of just laying on each other and few drinks more Callum sits up “give me your car key” he turns to Ben and Ben goes into his pocket to give him it standing up Callum walks over to the place where his and Chris’s name are first he but a “B+P” with a tiny heart next to it, and then kneels down and starts to put “C.M+B.M” with the date and in very small writing puts “soulmates” Ben comes over and looks over Callum’s shoulder he smiles when he see’s his and Paul’s initials and then gasps at his and Callum’s “soulmates” he says above a whisper and Callum looks up 

“Yeah Ben, I mean we’ve both loved before, we’ve both felt pain and guild over something that wasn’t in our control, your the one person today who has asked me if I was okay (Ben thinks back about the time where Callum was also the only one to ask if he was okay) it’s crazy Ben when I’m with you I don’t want to leave you, when I’m away from you, I’m angry cause I want to be with you” he takes a break “that’s why.. that’s why I texted Whitney in our way here and told her.. told her I can’t go through with the wedding, it’s not her who I love.. it’s you.. and the funny thing is” Callum starts to cry “she knew!!” Ben sits down this is too much information all at once “this is our special place, and both Chris and Paul are here too, your my person Ben you are” Callum’s voice breaks his looking at Ben sheer panic in his face "shit I’ve ruined it” he storms out Ben finally having everything through at him runs out after him Callum hasn’t got very far before the fresh air meets his alcohol ridden body and without a word Ben just kisses him “I love you to Callum” is all he said. 

The next morning they both wake, headaches from hell but they were happy, they didn’t feel guilty, they wasn’t lying or running around, they both fell whole for the first time in forever.


End file.
